4:47 am and stillness abound

Early in the morning and late in my mind. Right now my better half is asleep, dream of whatever and where ever. However, the other half, you guessed it, is awake and wondering. Much of life has been a wondering quest of if ,maybe's and should I go left. Right now I have the freedom to leave him in that dream of us and wake to the nothingness of empty. Again, he makes me see that I am still a person and ladies and gents, it was a long time ago since I have felt like a person. Well I am ranting too much. Happiness is the scariest thing since death. Why? Simply because we don't understand it meaning and always we try to destroy it, without know how wonderful and pure it is. Now I sound mellow and odd. Eh! who say's that anyway. Well I should take my own advise.