I had a chance to talk with my grandmother and find out how life was going for her and other members of my family in SC. Things are good she says and the next question after all the other ones were over was " Have you found a church yet?". Now I responded with the usual deflection of there is one near me, however they don't speak English. Now here is Korea there are several English speaking churches. Why do the whole deflection and all. Simple, I'm pagan.
Now this is not news to my grandmother for she made it her mission to block my growth on a spiritual level and I understand that she did it through love and meant well. However, I have learned to deflect it off. However, I still have to make a dance around it, I know that it puts her at ease just knowing that I pray. Though many would considered it a cowards way out, though after years of fighting over having pagan items an having them thrown out and going through the humiliation of being told there is something wrong with me. I decided to just put my thoughts aside and leave. Only reason this all came up was that I realized that I have been doing this for a while.
After moving to Korea, of course and feel guilty like I am not being open with her. Though I am just glad that she accepts my husband Patrick, who declared he's an atheist, more like agnostic. I say this due the fact that an atheist truly has faith in nothing and where I have noticed from my husband who tends to have faith in people and other things. Though this is something for another time. However, I just find it funny that here I am an adult now and having to dance around something so dear to me and even the steps remain the same.
Now this is not news to my grandmother for she made it her mission to block my growth on a spiritual level and I understand that she did it through love and meant well. However, I have learned to deflect it off. However, I still have to make a dance around it, I know that it puts her at ease just knowing that I pray. Though many would considered it a cowards way out, though after years of fighting over having pagan items an having them thrown out and going through the humiliation of being told there is something wrong with me. I decided to just put my thoughts aside and leave. Only reason this all came up was that I realized that I have been doing this for a while.
After moving to Korea, of course and feel guilty like I am not being open with her. Though I am just glad that she accepts my husband Patrick, who declared he's an atheist, more like agnostic. I say this due the fact that an atheist truly has faith in nothing and where I have noticed from my husband who tends to have faith in people and other things. Though this is something for another time. However, I just find it funny that here I am an adult now and having to dance around something so dear to me and even the steps remain the same.
