Perhaps the hard part is not being completely honest with each other. We just had a fight about when Patrick would put me down for playing an all Japanese game. It was one that I had seen in the states a long time ago. The argument that is. Though the issue isn't with that, it is with me teasing him for being cruel. It bothers me. How he thinks it is fine not to point out his flaws.
Though it doesn't make it any better to tease him about it. Why did I do that? Was it worth it?
No. It didn't make anything better only worse. Still I just said that I wouldn't talk about it. Cause I keep bring up the past. So I'll just be quiet about it. It doesn't matter how much I am bothered by him being angry about it. Though his anger is in the fact that I apparently put words in his mouth. Which I didn't.
Then again, he did the same thing while I was in Japan. Tried to tell him how I felt about us then and now. Them he proceeded to get angry at me for mentioning it. As if I was responsible for him lying to his family and friends. While encouraging him to be honest. Though just like now. I promised not to bring it up again. An just the other day he mentions. "When we have our ceremony." As if that is possible now. As if that magically makes things better.
There are so many other things that I have promised not to talk about. An only for him to give me the shit about there are games that he can't play due to how I was wanting for his time and affection. That it went from his normal love of gaming. To wanting to escape from the shitty jobs. An I fail to see how it balances out. That might be the worse part is that I am expected to not do anything about it. An yet I fail to see it.
I need to stop bringing up stuff, that will make things balance the hell out. It won't, so why bother. Resolve not to tisk-for-tasket with things in your life. An you do this with other people in your life. So promise yourself that you'll work on this for the rest of your days.
Yeah make that promise. Then you figure out why it is okay, for these people to hurt me. An them spew they love me. So the goal is to murder my heart, don't speak it. Leave the past in the past. Work with now. Right now. You're not going to swim with this. You'll die.
Though it doesn't make it any better to tease him about it. Why did I do that? Was it worth it?
No. It didn't make anything better only worse. Still I just said that I wouldn't talk about it. Cause I keep bring up the past. So I'll just be quiet about it. It doesn't matter how much I am bothered by him being angry about it. Though his anger is in the fact that I apparently put words in his mouth. Which I didn't.
Then again, he did the same thing while I was in Japan. Tried to tell him how I felt about us then and now. Them he proceeded to get angry at me for mentioning it. As if I was responsible for him lying to his family and friends. While encouraging him to be honest. Though just like now. I promised not to bring it up again. An just the other day he mentions. "When we have our ceremony." As if that is possible now. As if that magically makes things better.
There are so many other things that I have promised not to talk about. An only for him to give me the shit about there are games that he can't play due to how I was wanting for his time and affection. That it went from his normal love of gaming. To wanting to escape from the shitty jobs. An I fail to see how it balances out. That might be the worse part is that I am expected to not do anything about it. An yet I fail to see it.
I need to stop bringing up stuff, that will make things balance the hell out. It won't, so why bother. Resolve not to tisk-for-tasket with things in your life. An you do this with other people in your life. So promise yourself that you'll work on this for the rest of your days.
Yeah make that promise. Then you figure out why it is okay, for these people to hurt me. An them spew they love me. So the goal is to murder my heart, don't speak it. Leave the past in the past. Work with now. Right now. You're not going to swim with this. You'll die.
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